10 Questions to Discern Whether You Are a People Pleaser (aka Man-Fearer)

The apostle Paul says something startling in Galatians 1:10 — “If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

There it is. We are either seeking to please man or we are seeking to serve Christ.

Many people (myself included) battle with caring too much about people’s approval. In his excellent book, When People Are Big and God is Small, Ed Welch provides these symptoms of the fear of man:

  1. Are you over-committed? Do you find it hard to say no even when wisdom indicates that you should? You are a ‘people-pleaser,’ a euphemism for the fear of man.
  2. Do you ‘need’ something from your spouse? Do you ‘need’ your spouse to listen to you? Respect you?
  3. Is self-esteem a critical concern for you? … If self-esteem is a recurring theme for you, chances are that your life revolves around what others think. You reverence or fear their opinions. You need them to buttress your sense of well-being and identity.
  4. Do you ever feel as if you might be exposed as an impostor? … It means the opinions of other people — especially their possible opinion that you are failure — are able to control you.
  5. Are you always second-guessing decisions because of what other people might think? Are you afraid of making mistakes that will make you look bad in other people’s eyes?
  6. Do you easily get embarrassed? If so, people and their perceived opinions probably define you. Or, to use biblical language, you exalt the opinions of others to the point where you are ruled by them.
  7. Do you ever lie, especially the little white lies? What about cover-ups where you are not technically lying with your mouth? Lying and other forms of living in the dark are usually ways to make ourselves look better before other people. They also serve to cover our shame before them.
  8. Do other people often make you angry or depressed? … If so, they are probably the controlling center of your life.
  9. Do you avoid people? If so, even though you might not say that you need people, you are still controlled by them.
  10. Have you ever been too timid to share your faith in Christ because others might think you are an irrational fool?

What would you add? How have you seen these in yourself or in others?

Advertisements

, , ,

  1. #1 by Troy Blakemore on January 21, 2011 - 9:57 am

    I’m afraid to post a comment…..does that count? :-)

  2. #2 by Terri Kutchera on January 21, 2011 - 10:44 am

    LOL Troy! Me too. What will others think? Boy, am I in deep on this one. Need to go buy the book, I believe.

  3. #3 by web page on July 15, 2013 - 1:47 am

    Helpful info. Lucky me I found your web site by accident, and I am shocked why this twist of fate did not
    happened in advance! I bookmarked it.

  4. #4 by midsummer on July 21, 2013 - 5:27 am

    Every weekend i used to visit this web site, as
    i wish for enjoyment, for the reason that this this web
    page conations genuinely nice funny stuff too.

  5. #5 by How I Diet on July 21, 2013 - 5:44 am

    It’s an remarkable post in favor of all the internet people; they will take benefit from it I am sure.

  6. #6 by old school new body on July 22, 2013 - 8:22 pm

    You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something that I think I would never understand.

    It seems too complex and extremely broad
    for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the
    hang of it!

  7. #7 by Garcinia Cambogia Review on July 23, 2013 - 7:27 pm

    Hello, i think that i saw you visited my site thus i came to return the desire?
    .I’m trying to in finding things to enhance my website!I guess its good enough to make use of a few of your concepts!!

  8. #8 by youtube video instructions on December 5, 2013 - 3:47 pm

    Aw, this was an exceptionally nice post. Finding the time
    and actual effort to make a very good article… but what can I say… I put things off
    a whole lot and don’t seem to get anything done.

  1. The Antidote to Fearing Man & People-Pleasing « Second Mile Church Blog

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: